Happy Belated July 17th, everyone!

Two very important events in the history of the House of Windsor took place on this date (July 17th) thirty years apart.

1. Ninety-three years ago, the House of Windsor was born. Most dynasties are founded by war or the end of a family line. Not this one. George V found himself in a pickle. He was at war with the Germans and trying to inspire his people. The problem was that George, and his whole family, were German. They were originally from the dynasty of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. Their last name might have been von Wettin or something equally German, no one was sure. George knew something had to be done. He'd heard rumors that some people were doubting the loyalty of the royal family because of their German heritage. The attitude towards people of German descent in Britain during World War I was like the attitude towards people of Middle Eastern descent after 9/11. George couldn't change the fact that his bloodline was almost exclusively German. But he could change the name! So the House of Windsor was born. Windsor, like the castle, was also selected for the family's official new last name.

2. Sixty-three years ago, Camilla Shand was born. Better known under her married name, Camilla Parker Bowles, Camilla is the second wife, and former mistress, of Prince Charles. Camilla was born the great-granddaughter of legendary royal mistress Alice Keppel. When she met Charles, she allegedly joked "My great-grandmother was your great-great-grandfather's mistress, so how about it?" Whether she actually said that or not, it was love from the beginning. Charles and Camilla were, and still are, absolutely perfect for each other. Beyond belonging together, they also deserve each other. Very few people deserve the unique ball of "eccentricities" that is Prince Charles; Diana certainly didn't! Long story short, Charles and Camilla fell in love, his family said she wasn't suitable, so they broke up and both married other people, while still basically being in love with each other. Shortly after Charles married Diana Spencer, they realized nothing was going to keep them apart, and jumped into a full out affair. Camilla doesn't fit the bill of royal mistress; she's not the witty, stylish, or sophisticated type. Furthermore, despite what tabloids would have you believe, she has few royal ambitions. Charles and Camilla were just made for each other. They both loves the same stupid radio shows from the '50's. They both love the country. They both love unfashionable clothing.

The only reason Camilla ended up in the mistress position was because Charles was both too weak to stand up to his parents and too weak to honor his marriage vows and put royal duty first. If you can't tell, I am firmly on Team Diana. But I don't blame Camilla; the whole thing was the fault of the royal family, and that includes Prince Charles, Prince Philip, and, to a lesser extent, the Queen. Of course, the worst offenders when it came to setting up this situation are both dead. The Queen Mother chose Diana as a royal bride and allowed Prince Charles to use her house for trysts with Camilla. Lord Louis Mountbatten encouraged Charles to marry a virgin and not Camilla and repeatedly warned him against rebelling against his family. "Uncle Dickie" as Charles called him, used both Edward VII and Edward VIII as examples for what Charles was to do. If he was like Edward VII, and married a suitable virgin and then cheated on her, he would have fun and parties and lots of sex and be remembered as a wonderful king and all around cool guy. If he was like Edward VIII and rebelled against his family and royal duty and married someone unsuitable, he would end up getting kicked out of the family and have to live in France, which to Prince Charles would be a fate worse than death. But personality wise, Charles had little in common with either Edward VII or Edward VIII; he was more of a George III type but slightly less crazy. So those examples had little relevance to his life.

Anyway, Charles and Camilla have been married five years now, and it seems to have worked out alright for them. That doesn't excuse their treatment of Princess Diana, but if Charles had just followed his heart and married Camilla in the first place the world would have never known Diana and William and Harry wouldn't exist. But I still don't really care for Charles.

The great historian and commentator Stephen Colbert described Camilla thusly:
"Oh, to be with Camilla. T'would be like making love to the chalky white cliffs of Dover."

On Charles and Camilla's relationship:
"It's the classic fairy-tale romance. Girl meets Boy. Girl loses Boy. Boy marries Another Girl. Girl becomes Boy's mistress. Other Girl dies tragically, and they all live happily ever after!"

Also, it was today in 1918 that the Romanovs were killed but that was just so horrid and unfortunate I don't feel like talking about it tonight.